I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize