Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
