i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
