Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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