her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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