Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
