Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
