you guys were way drunker than both of me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
