Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
