Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
