ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
