I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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