It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
40s are totally the cure
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
