yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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