Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
