Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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