God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
