I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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