I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
