yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
