just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
