I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
