we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
