What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
