You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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