Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
