Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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