I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
