I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
