My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
