why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
