If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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