Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
