We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
