You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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