I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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