Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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