Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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