We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
