That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
