Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize