MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
