she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
