oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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