I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
