I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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