The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
