i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
