He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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