Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
