We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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