So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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