We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
