Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
