They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
