For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
