was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
