Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
