My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
