She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
