I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
