I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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