just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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