Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
