Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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