Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
