Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
whose parrot is this?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
