You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ttyl tear gas
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
