i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
